How to Comfort Your Parents While Trying to Follow Your Dreams

Those you call your family want you to be okay. They generally want you to not feel hunger, and to steer clear of a chaotic lifestyle. A way of life which is considered ‘safe’ is often the most direct path toward calming the worries that members of your family feel for you. Safe, by this definition, is aligning with the comfortable majority in the lifestyle decisions we make. Those who lead seemingly comfortable lives follow a seemingly similar set of steps. Those set of steps are what many are pressured to align their interest toward, and many do. There is nothing wrong with aligning with what the comfortable majority sets out to do day in and day out. You may however, decide to venture off the path most traveled in life. Your definition of a meaningful life may differ from what the vast majority considers it to be through the actions they take and the words they say. That’s okay too.

A barrier you’ll likely come across in your goal to follow your more diverse dreams in life, are the pressures that those who you love exhibit on you. We can easily dismiss what those we don’t care for think of our goals and desires. The ones we love though, have an extraordinary ability to make us want to please them. We don’t want to see our mothers cry out of worry, and our fathers stress out of regret. The people who love you feel a great sense of responsibility to ensure of your well-being. They operate with worry for you to protect themselves from regret. If they choose to not worry and express their concerns, there’s a chance they’ll regret not speaking out in time, should your decisions lead you toward the worst case scenario. The main goal in comforting them surrounding the decisions that you make therefore, is to communicate your state of being absolutely fine in an effective manner. Though this sounds easy, simply saying that you are okay will not do the trick.


Communicate Your Struggles Only When You Overcome and Learn From Them


Limiting worry is essential in comforting those who love you most. Communicating a struggle that you have no answer in how to solve, will leave it open ended in the minds of those who love you. Since they wouldn’t know of the specifics, they’ll tend to overplay it in their minds. They’ll worry about it, have dreams about it, and it’ll signify something much bigger than it may in fact be inside your mind. While you move toward a solution, they’ll be stuck in worrying about it for you. It is best therefore, to not voice your struggles to the ones who love you, until you’ve overcome them.

A struggle with a story that ends with you overcoming that struggle will not only bring them comfort, but also express your ability to overcome obstacles. Their perception of your ability to make things work will improve. They’ll begin perceiving you to be capable in the domain which you’ve chosen to focus on. As you go on to overcome the many struggles in your journey toward achieving your goals, their worry will morph into pride. They’ll begin being proud of all the obstacles you’ve managed to overcome, and will begin to have confidence in your ability to make your dreams a reality.


Growth Is Measured by How You Treat Others


Deciding to take a risk and follow something you feel will provide life with meaning is a brave thing to do. The more risk averse you are, the more bravery it takes. In your journey of following a unique goal in life, you’ll undoubtedly grow as an individual. You’ll look back on previous days and smile at how much you did not know. As you keep moving, you’ll think to yourself, “If I knew what I know today, I wouldn’t have made that first decision to risk it all.” However, you’ll also come to understand that the struggle which following your dreams entails, is perhaps the most meaningful part of the process.

You’ll come to learn a lot about yourself through struggle. You’ll come to realize how hard it is to stay disciplined, and how hard it is to convince yourself that you’ll be okay. Improvement will expose itself as an infinite domain. In realizing that, you’ll learn that in order to improve, you need to focus on your weaknesses. You’ll learn to love yourself; understanding that without yourself being in a positive space, your goals are harder to achieve. You are the person who you depend on most. The kindness which you should show yourself on a daily basis will show itself to others. You’ll notice yourself becoming more accepting of other individuals, as you come to learn to accept yourself. You’ll begin treating others in a kinder manner, as the lessons which you learn on your journey toward meaning begin to define who you are.

Your personal growth, and state of being okay, is measured by how you treat others. The words above, are a long way of telling you to treat those you love with even more love than before. Kindness and understanding have no bounds. Understand them more, love them, and be kind to them. Understand their desire to protect you to be an effort to protect themselves from regret. Listen to them, don’t lose your temper, and continue spreading positivity. Allow them to be your protectors, and keep them calm by remaining calm yourself even if you still having nothing to show for following your dreams.

Doing so will limit your own regret as well. Should your plans not work out, you’ll not regret being hard headed with those who warned you as you decided to explore your goals. You’ll not regret yelling out in anger after hearing enough of people trying to tell you to stop. You’ll not regret avoiding the ones who loved you only because they told you about their worries for you. By becoming kinder as you move toward your goals, you will come out of the process a better person, whether you achieve your goals or not.

Book Recommendation: 

The Analects

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