How to Handle Jealousy From Friends and Family

Have you ever been jealous of the accomplishments that your close friends and family attain while you are stuck in your everyday rut? The reason you’ve felt that feeling is because you are meant to feel it. These competitive traits existed within you before you began to exist in this world. The jealousy you sometimes feel today, our ancestors felt as well. The repercussions of not acting on these feelings of envy and jealousy however, were more dire for them than they are for us. In a matter of survival, the feelings of envy and jealousy help you stay alive.

Us physically surviving today, mainly involves making enough money and maintaining enough health to take care of ourselves, then our families, and then to grow prosperous. Jealousy creeps in when we see others, who were once on our level, climbing up these steps of modern survival. If for instance you were a poor homeless man, you would feel more jealousy for the other homeless man getting more pocket change than you, rather than being jealous of the rich real estate mogul you see walking down the sidewalk.


The Mechanism of Jealousy


We get jealous of those that we compete with and have a chance of overtaking. This is why your family and friends are prime suspects in getting jealous of your accomplishments – as they are typically in the same social, professional, and economic bracket as you are. Any accomplishments you attain must be quickly turned into motivation for them before jealousy can creep into their minds. They must feel that your accomplishments are attainable and not as romantic as they appear to be.

Jealousy can make people do and say things they wouldn’t normally attempt to. Especially when dealing with close friends and relatives, jealousy can put strains on the relationships which are worth much more than the pride of being victorious in a certain pursuit. When you feel jealousy manifest from your close friends and relatives, you need to dissipate it as quickly as possible.


Don’t React


The first step to dealing with jealousy from your friends and family is to not react to any statements, remarks, looks, emotions, or blatant ill-willed acts. You must treat the actions which stem out of their jealousy in a way you would with a child misbehaving. You must ignore their bashful attempts at pulling you back down to their level of competition and you should recognize their efforts to do so immediately.

Do not call out the fact that the person is jealous. You should not let it be known that you are aware of their jealous emotions and the actions which are motivated by those emotions. Once you recognize that someone’s actions may be rooted in jealousy towards some of your accomplishments, you must move to downplay those accomplishments in any way you can.


Downplay Accomplishments


Your accomplishments are the very things that give birth to jealousy in friends and family. Friends may get jealous of a new position that you landed, thereby propelling you ahead of them in the corporate ladder. Always try to keep your accomplishments, which your friends and family are trying to attain as well, a secret. If they do not have to know about your wins, they shouldn’t.

When they do find out – and they often will – make sure that you downplay all of the accomplishments which may reinforce the feelings of jealousy within them. Always mention that your wins look better than they actually feel, and make others believe that you are not in any way happier than you were before.

Feelings of jealousy stem from people not having what they want, and the approach of downplaying your accomplishments aims to dismiss them as sought-after winnings. Aim to make the jealous people in your life want what you have a little less. Mention the negatives, and make them think twice about wanting the things which you worked hard to achieve.

This is not a fool-proof method, and there are times when people want to achieve the same accomplishments as you did even more once they know that you achieved them.


Make Your Wins Seem Attainable


When jealous people inquire about how you attained whatever you have that they don’t, remember to make it seem attainable to them. Be honest in what you did to achieve the things that they desire to achieve as well, and be genuinely helpful in helping them achieve the very same.

Make your accomplishments seem attainable and people will be less likely to be jealous and more likely to be motivated to achieve the same things. Motivation grows the more attainable we believe our goals to be, and seeing someone else tell us that we are on the right path will raise that level of motivation while eliminating jealousy.

Book Recommendation:

Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln

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