People are susceptible to trading in a lot for a feeling of importance.

How to Barter Your Importance for More Tangible Perks

If you’re willing to give up some of the importance you hold in a particular domain, you can trade it for other beneficial things. Suppressing your desire to feel important is essential in developing a holistic state of mental health. Desire for importance controls the behavior of many that you know and interact with. We tell stories we are proud of, and post pictures which paint a positive picture of our lives. We yearn to be respected by the ones around us in an effort to develop a sense of meaning behind what we do. Our sense of importance is what drives us to ask for the raise, to apply for the senior position, and to fight for the first spot in any line we’re in. Whether the feeling of importance can be scientifically explained is another matter, but becoming a master at bartering this feeling can serve to provide you with tangible results.

The ones around us want to feel important just like us. At work, there is likely someone whose position you look up to, and someone who looks up to yours. The cycle seldom ends; we will look toward next steps, and find ourselves being someone else’s goal as a next step. The people who see your position in life as their next step are vulnerable to your influence should you decide to provide them with what they seek. They seek the importance which you’ve attained, and may be so focused on attaining it for themselves that they overlook your own goals in the matter. You may be interested in things they have, and your position of importance can also come with negatives which they’ve not yet realized. The position that you hold at work may require you to carry a burden of responsibility you seek to unload off your shoulders. You may not want to make a speech at a wedding, or be the one who is responsible for ordering the catering for a surprise party for a friend.


Perceived Importance Covers Up the Harsh Reality of Things


The position you hold at work or in your social circles only shares its most painful secrets with you. The anxiety, stress, and other painful traits you experience in the position that you’re in are seldom visible to onlookers in full. There are undesirable traits amidst the position of importance that you hold which you may want to free yourself from. In order to do so, explore who around you is willing to adopt those responsibilities, along with attaining the importance they seek.

In order to effectively free yourself from any undesirable aspects of the position that you hold, your primary selling point should be its perceived importance. Be willing to give up the feeling of importance in life and trade it in for other perks. Comfort may be one, more time with your family may be another, and a position which more suits your personality may be a third. Realize which clear goals you’re trying to attain in your attempts to trade importance. Have a clear path toward achieving those goals, and barter your importance in an effort to follow that path.

The advantage you will have in attempting to trade your importance for other tangible perks, is that onlookers will be blinded to negative aspects of the important position that you hold. The perceived importance they attempt to adopt will shine bright in their eyes, flooding all the things you attempt to get away from with its light.

Example

As a leader, your position at work may involve a lot of face-to-face interaction. There may be people in more technical roles which have the perk of working from home, but your position of importance may not allow you to do so. Some people who occupy these technical roles may be interested in relishing in the importance which they perceive your position to provide. On the other hand, you may be interested in transitioning to work from home and moving away from the stresses of interacting with people day in and day out.

In this example, you would be able to barter your importance in order to attain a position which allows you to work from home. People will be blinded to the negative traits of the position you currently hold, and would not question you should you attempt to give it up. You can be honest with your motive – the fact that you seek a position which allows you to work from home – however, do not expose the undesirable traits of your position.


Giving Up Importance Is Often Seen As Losing


Another advantage trading your importance for things which appeal to you more is that you’d be seen as the losing party. Being labelled as someone who is losing in a deal while actually gaining from it is a perfect position to be in. The other party will be quicker to accept the deal, without realizing the benefits you’re provided with as a result. The loss of importance weighs heavy in the minds of others. They will perceive anyone who gives up their importance as the losing party in the matter. By their definition of success, you may very well be losing in the deal. The goals with which you operate however, would be different than their own. You will have experienced all the perks that being seen as important provided, and would be voluntarily walking away from those perks in an effort to attain others which mean more to you.

Being seen as the losing party, is therefore something which will help you attain your goals. You’ll be zigging while other zag, and zaggers will not realize the reasons for why you zig. The people on the quest to quench their thirst for feeling important will be quick to shake the hand of anyone who provides them with a taste. They’ll likely miss analyzing the decision with clarity, and you’ll be surprised what perks you can attain by trading in some of your importance.

Book Recommendation: 

Barking Up the Wrong Tree: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Success Is (Mostly) Wrong

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